Dear You- Message In (and about) A Bottle

Dear Jennifer Aniston,
If you don't like wearing perfume, maybe having your own isn't the best idea ever.
Sincerely,
Someone who appreciates your mother's Caleche

Dear IFRA,
Verbena? Really?
Yours,
Oakmossed In Jersey

Dear Tom Ford,
How about an iris next?
Love,
A reluctant fan

Dear SA,
Thierry Mugler's first name is not pronounced "Terry".
Sincerely,
Someone who still doesn't like Angel

Dear Uncle Serge,
Are you really going to make me jump through hoops for bell jars of Rahat Loukoum and Bois et Musc?
Adoringly,
A Desperate American

Dear Proctor & Gamble,
You suck.
Crankily,
A Jean Patou fan

Dear Mademoiselle Chanel,
You'd roll in your grave if you smelled some of the dreck they sell under your name.
Tearfully,
Can't Believe It's No. 19

Dear Ormonde Jayne,
Please subtract the VAT from sales outside the UK.
Respectfully,
An American Penny Pincher Who Needs A Bottle Of Orris Noir


Feel free to add your own unsent letters in the comments.

Photo: myvintagevogue.com